Nerve Endings Firing Away

Gaana mere buss ki baath nahee..sur aur taal ka saath nahee. This unchained melody from Astitva reflects my bemoanings for not having a voice fit for singing. The only talent that I sincerely respect and admire in any person on this planet is the ability to sing…by singing, I mean any poetry and prose in line with rythm, harmony, tune, and oodles of soul. No matter how hard and how many times I attempt to utter few words in perfect tune, the attempts always fall flat. I would give anything to possess a voice that could tug at someone’s heartstrings…not just a decent voice but one with melancholic inclinations. Often my bathroom walls bear the brunt of my soulful voice. Call it my obsession or my unfulfilled dream that may never come true. “Lekin woh zindagi hee kya jiss me koi namoomkin sapna na ho” (courtesy Khamosh Annie)

For any other things, for which you do not possess any expertise I may say concentrate.. practice.. work hard !!!! But alas, my experiences tell me singing is an art that one has to be born with. I will forever blame my genes for this shortcoming…frankly only my mom and and my fiancee think that my soft voice is apt for a good tune, but their endless love
for me (and luck at not having heard me) has blinded their thoughts…coz whenever I mention this to my friends (who unfortunately have heard me sing) take at least ten minutes to stop laughing. My other music-deficient friend had the cheek to comment that I make her life worth living..why? coz (she claims) I am the only person that sings as bad,if not worse, as she does…and she is relieved to find me at least someone in her long search for a music-deficient person. Voices apart, my grandfather possesses the rare ability to play almost all musical instruments known to Desi mankind..and thatz a lot of instruments. And the only thing I can play is the “”Play” button of my stereo, which too doesn’t sound all that good (got it at a Thanksgiving Sale)….damn only if I had been persistent at my tabla classes. Post-Maine Pyar Kiya, I got obsessed with owning and playing a saxophone to blow out my non-existent sorrows..a la Salman Khan-on-the-staircase ishtyle but one look at the price tag and my mom’s pleading look to maintain our home’s peace made me change my mind…that was my closest brush with playing the music….No ! wait !!! I did play the Triangle (if that piece of bent metal can be termed as an musical instrument)…pssst..but that was merely to escape from the rigors of participating in our weekly ridiculous PT sessions (believe me..they really looked ridiculous)

I have had tons of friends, almost sixty percent of my friend-circle, who can hum a decent tune…so whenever we have a late-night singing session, I end up telling a joke which makes them laugh less than my singing. Like I said, I can kill to have a great voice to sing…maybe in my next life.

But all said and done, allz not lost..I can confidently claim to be an connoisseur at recognizing a good voice…I am the desi Simon Cowell…I was the only one who could correctly predict Ruben as the next American Idol as soon as the final twelve were announced. I hope the talent scout managers in HMV are listening. I have an excellent ear for music and I will share my brand of music with you sometime…and finally I CAN sing better than my insulting out-of-tune friend!!!!!!!