Why Football Sucks?
“I don’t hate soccer, I simply consider it a sport that is fun for kids to play, but lacks the complexity and drama that make for a great spectator sport.”
Ok! So according to Fisher, football is just 22 dudes trying to kick a ball into the net on opposite sides of a 110-yard field. Surely, he hasn’t seen the 1970s Brazilians or the 1974 Dutch in action. The struggle for supremacy at the intensely-competitive English Premier League is just a matter of chance for Fisher. The complex strategies may not be apparent in the spontaneity of the game but instead it lets the players control the game instead of the coach directing the play via remote-control from the sidelines as it happens in basketball or American football. And mind you, those are interesting games to watch as well but sometimes the spectators need some unanticipated action on the field and let the players brilliance shine through.
“We tend not to be interested in sports that attract hooligans and riots. In America, spectator sports tend to be family events, with a wholesome emphasis on community.”
Either Fisher hasn’t been to an Oakland Raiders or Washington Redskins game or he doesn’t consider them part of the NFL. Baseball players and managers slugging it out on the field and bullpen right in front of innocent children sure instills the right values of family affairs. I say, we let Fisher introduce croquet or curling. No one ever fights there but then there isn’t any passion either.
“Baseball is the only sport in which statistics over the course of more than a century of play can be compared directly, allowing fans to know instantly how today’s players rate against those of decades ago; Every comparison that I’ve seen concludes that the single most difficult task in all of sports is hitting a baseball thrown at 95 miles an hour.”
I bet cricket has more statistics than Fisher could ever imagine and thankfully, we have numbers on the left side of the decimal as well. Babe Ruth’s record might be broken (or heck, it already is) but Bradman is supreme. And try throwing a full-toss ball to Dhoni at speeds higher than 95 miles per hour and see where it lands, if it ever does. Or regards football, try stopping a full-blooded Roberto Carlos free kick or a curling Beckham kick from the sweet spot, the goalkeepers rarely try to move.
“Soccer’s popularity in much of the world is sadly tied up with the most disturbing face of nationalism, and so when Americans see soccer fans waving national flags and chanting vile slogans against other nations, we are reminded of the horrors of terrorism and the unfortunate abuse of sports by terrorists and by nations.”
Are Americans that wussy as some people would like us to believe? Whatever happened to the spirit of U-S-A, U-S-A and the Miracle on Ice, don’t tell me that it was a Disney on Ice marketing campaign! America’s greatest technological leap i.e. the man on the moon was powered by vile slogans against the mighty USSR. Nationalism is forgotten over after the game is over especially over a pitcher of Germany’s finest beer. I am not going to comment on the oft-used terrorism fear. Be afraid; be very afraid works only when you are running for an impossible reelection campaign.
“We tend to like sports that can accommodate stories about players, coaches and other personalities. Soccer, as a largely anonymous sport, doesn’t fit. The game simply doesn’t work on television because the field is so enormous that the players appear to be tiny. Fans therefore cannot form powerful emotional connections with their play.”
Heck, with the right marketing acumen even bobsledding can have personality. Beckham alone is responsible for England’s gossip circle. Add a bit of Spice and the gossip mags make a killing. Britney’s nth pregnancy might not generate as much hype as a Beckham’s hairstyle change does. And guess what, it doesn’t affect his headers. Fisher hasn’t seen a football match so that’s why he believes that we always watch the game in wide-angle on television. If the field size is a factor, then Americans would be crazy about chess.
“It’s very nice for soccer-loving countries to have their little tournament, but to call it the World Cup is rather arrogant and overblown.”
Ok! this one sentence alone makes me question if this indeed is a satirical piece because no newspaper correspondent worth his ink. I am not even going to mention the ‘World Series’ or NBA champions being called World Champions.
Gosh! Almost every sentence can be fisked and counter-argued. But I’ll leave some for you guys. I cannot write any more; I pass on the baton.
“Why Football Sucks?” [Short URL: http://www.ipatrix.com/?p=1470] was published Friday, June 16th, 2006 at 5:26 pm by Patrix, filed under Media, Society Culture, Sports, United States, and tagged as football, journalism, Media, Rants, soccer, Sports, United States. Both comments and linkbacks are closed.
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It does not look like an attempt to analyze why the sport has not caught on in US. It is a clear manifestation of the writer’s ignorance/blatant unacceptance of the sport, and an unashamed effort to trivialize it. This is a result of the American tendency (sorry I am having to generalize here) to be engulfed in a cocooned sporting network. I follow the major American sports very religiously. I think they have some good sporting qualities, and I appreciate them for that. But I still think that they are what they are due to an enormous amount of marketing and packaging. There are a lot of American sport features that do not apply to soccer, because of which it has not caught on in US: attention span, commercial breaks, anonymity of the coach/manager, possibility of a no-result, to name a few.
4 years ago replyI think that one should not discredit a sport without understanding the essence of it. It is even more of a crime when done so by a professional journalist.
I agree with most of your rebuttals. I think it is fairly common to distort some facts to make a point you set out to make. I had read somewhere that Cricket is a gentleman sport, while football is a rowdy sport. Granted that there are more physical altercations in football due to the nature of the sport, but that does not make it a rowdy sport. And given the nature of American football, I have seen very few fights between players, while baseball and ice-hockey can put street brawls to shame. So one should analyze and appreciate sports for what they are, not complain for what they are not and distort the facts to promote one’s propaganda.
A longer comment shall follow, hell I might fisk it on my own blog :). Whatever.
Suffice it say it is among the most asinine and idiotic interview I have ever read, just for giving this interview this idiot should be fired from Washpost. After this, I can never take any article written under his byline seriously.
What a loser! Good job Pat, link it on DP man, everyone should read this.
4 years ago replyThis has to be an attempt at satire… I can’t imagine anyone being so stupid, ignorant and arrogant… but its such a lousy attempt, nonetheless.
4 years ago replyI guess this guy has such abysmal witing skills that an average guy would never be able to pick out the fact that this was a satirical piece
I don’t even read such stuff. Useless. I had seen a video on youtube which makes fun of football. It got extreme reactions – of hilarity from Americans and utter annoyance/disgust from the rest of the world.
Seriously, no one is asking any one to watch if they don’t want to. Also, if they expect
1) They will be superb in a world game fast, or,
2) The game should be supported only if US does well,
they are living in a fool’s paradise.
I really do not give any importance to such pieces but I guess you can’t avoid them as where you are, the rhetoric is quite irritating.
4 years ago replyThis guy is a complete idiot. Its no coincidence that football is the most popular and watched sport in the World, whereas the majority of people outside of the US couldn’t care less about American “sports”. As an Englishmen i am extremely passionate about my football and a lot of that stems from the tradition and history of the game. There is no sport in the World that can match the drama and passion of football (eg 1999 Champions League Final). Oh and on a closing note any team that wins the World Cup has the right to call temselves World Champions, because they’ve actually managed to beat a few “other” countries along the way.
4 years ago replyThis to me just illustrates the narrow minded American view of anything that happens outside the US is petty and unimportant. Thsi reporter should get and life and stick to glorified rounders (baseball), rugby (american football) or netball (basketball).
Naveen, a certain section of the american media tries to trivialize things that they don’t understand and they often end up with a egg on their face. I’ll admit though that there have been positive reports and greater acceptance of the dominance of the Football World Cup in the global arena and almost apologetic acceptance that the Americans have to catch up. Read the National Geographic story for a prime example, especially the way it starts.
4 years ago replyConfused, good fisking by you too. I hope other DP contributors pick up on your comment and link my post…I can’t link to my own blog, can I although I squeeze it in at times when it is relevant to other links.
Nirav, I hope so too but it doesn’t say so anywhere and the fact that it was published in German newspapers without any such disclaimers. I fear for Fisher if he ever visits.
Pratyush, I had heard of that video but never got to see it. I am not trying to say that football is the best but hey, at least a little bit of respect for the game that the entire world seems to love is definitely in order. We don’t deride American football or basketball and heck, even enjoy them.
Chimpfish, we gotta give them some leeway…the more football they see, the more they come to appreciate the finer nuances of the game…only if insane columnists like Fisher keep their trap shut.
As someone mentioned, Fisher is not trying to write about why Americans are not crazy about football, he is trying to write about why he thinks they are rightly not crazy about football. I think he is simply trying to be provocative and trying to get himself the limelight. Many of his statements, like the ones about terrorists, are just meaningless and inane.
4 years ago replyWell I send a tip off to DP, i am not sure who reads those tip offs, I hope its not you. :)
4 years ago replyAshutosh, I wonder if he really meant it and is reading all the comments he got on his original post.
Confused, yup! it is usually me :) But I have fwded it to the group so if anyone thinks it is worthwhile, it will be linked.
4 years ago replyAshutosh hit the nail right on the head when he said “As someone mentioned, Fisher is not trying to write about why Americans are not crazy about football, he is trying to write about why he thinks they are rightly not crazy about football.”
In addition, I also think Americans who are kinda clueless about soccer feel a bit jealous about all the ink being given to the soccer world cup right now. Oh God forbid, Americans should take heed of a sport that can’t be called “All-American”. This is just a stupid juvenile piece. Although I like football more than I like soccer, its not for the reasons Mr Fisher has provided.
4 years ago replygawker, I love football [American] too but sometime about the simplicity of football [the one using feet] is mersmerising…flashes of brilliances between ordinary play that seems to pop outta nowhere is what makes this game more exciting. See Argentina’s second goal against S-M yesterday…that indeed was perfection. Probably Americans ought to see such moments for them to appreciate the game better.
4 years ago replyYou might not even respond to his Sports statistics claim since it actually weakens and dilutes your argument.
“Babe Ruth’s record might be broken (or heck, it already is) but Bradman is supreme.” This doesn’t say anything. Why are Cricket stats better if Bradman is supreme? So your argument fails if someone surpasses Bradman’s record?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabermetrics is a metric for Objective analysis in Baseball. In other words, it might give a more reasonable answer to who is a better player – Tendulkar or Lara? if both were playing Baseball..
“And try throwing a full-toss ball to Dhoni at speeds higher than 95 miles per hour and see where it lands”
OK this assumes that the length of each pitch is the same. Baseball’s pitch length is 60 feet while Cricket’s is 66 feet.. So the equivalent speed is more than 100 MPH in Cricket and I am damn sure that Dhoni would struggle big time.. The reaction time is incredulously less!! Stopping Beckham/Carlos free kicks depends on the distance and hence it’s a subjective statement..
My point is you needn’t even try to refute Baseball = great statistics claim to argue why Football is good! It is good because of its simplicity and fluidity which is a shock to Americans because their games are both complex and have a lot of time-outs. I feel blessed because I like both these cultures.
The author is acting like Ann Coulter – say something very shocking and stupid and use it to sell your article / book.
4 years ago replyKrish, any game that uses too much statistics to bolster its game is frankly not worth it. As long as the action in the field is good, I don’t care what the history says.
But you are right. Cricket and Baseball shouldn’t be compared. A friend once narrated me an incident from her office baseball match. A desi dude whacked the ball and promptly ran toward the pitcher scaring the beejesus out of him :)
4 years ago replyI’ll agree with the article. FOOTBALL(AMERICAN) SUCKS, BASEBALL SUCKS, (this has nothing to do with it but)NASCAR SUCKS, NBA Ok.
4 years ago replymen wats wrong with this american with their football game all i know is that it fucking sucks. Soccer is by far the best sport to play and watch, it is just entertaining with all the skills and how it is played. football is just wack its for untalented people who have no talent at all. football is actually a easy ass game all you do is throw the ball to each other and fucking run with it.
1 year ago reply