Nerve Endings Firing Away

Just when I needed to hear it, I found another reason to hate my cell phone. It will not affect me right now but as soon as I have someone who cares to keep a tab on my whereabouts, it will return to haunt me. I always have loved to be left alone to do my own thing, returning to where I belong only when I have to. No amount of coaxing, cajoling or even threatening convinced me to own a cell phone in India and for the better part of my time here in the United States. The cool factor somehow never appealed to me. If an external contraption likened to an necessary appendage can enhance your aesthetic or sex appeal, boy! You need some help.

But times have changed and when functionality catches up, we tend to befriend the devil. The latest antic that this cellular devil has conjured up in the quest for the cool factor is Ulocate. As the website proudly proclaims, Ulocate technology employs government’s global positioning system that can establish and transmit the latitude and longitude information of your cell phone and subsequently your position since you are presumed to carry it on your person always. Trust me, once you get a cell phone, no matter how much you hate it, you will never keep it away from you.

Ulocate is a much-needed gift from heaven (literally!) for paranoid parents. The specific purpose touted by the developers is in fact to keep a tab on your family members and review the locations they have visited in the specified time frame. If that is not an invasion of your privacy, I certainly am not sure what else is. For some, it may sound like an essential tool but the traditional me still believes that trust is paramount in having a decent familial life and not spy satellites. This is reminiscent of the Star Wars technology, espoused by Reagan to monitor anti-US activities in the “axis of evil” countries. I wish that they could simply keep that technology to monitor non-existent weapons of mass destruction instead of following your kids around. I am never getting that technology on my cell phone. I makes me feel like the tagged wildebeest roaming the free prairies of the Serengeti.

Whew! That was lot of steam stored since I read that letter by a thankful paranoid dad in the local paper. I might have different thoughts when I am a parent but this will do for now.