Death to Smoochy

In the spirit of ‘holier-than-thou’ Bharateeya sabhyata and sanskriti, I must protest apni Bipasha cozying up with deft-footed Ronaldo (nooo! the Portuguese one). It seems apart from announcing Taj Mahal as one of the world’s seven wonders, she turned out to be the object of wonder for a certain football star.

In the words of the highly reputed and potential Pulitzer Prize winning publication, Digital Spy “Cristiano (Ronaldo, re) and Bipasha were all over each other. If he has got a girlfriend she was the last thing on his mind. They were kissing and he was being very tender, cupping her face and staring into her eyes” Tauba Tauba (not a movie title although it should be), bechara John Abraham! Poor desperate Indian men were told that she was ‘committed’ and off limits and now we let her go to Portugal for roshanofying our Taj wonder and she commits such a un-Indian act. Damn! Where are the moral police when you need them. I’m sure, they are cooped up cursing to themselves that why wasn’t it them.

On the other hand, it does look like Ronaldo was telling her a sechret or they were playing Chinese Whispers and we can’t see the other buggers. While some are relieved that it wasn’t the object of their affection, I must protest in fear that someday it just might happen to the object of my affection (guess please!)

While we are talking about Bipasha and John, I was surprised to see their movie in Blockbuster the other day. Except it was named ‘The Body’. A bit confused, I had an instant ah-ha moment. Why, of course! with the original Hindi name it would have been placed in the chee-chee (desi girls lingo for pron) video store.

Tweet This“Death to Smoochy” [Short URL: http://www.ipatrix.com/?p=2116] was published Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 at 11:52 am by Patrix, filed under India, Media, Movies, Society Culture, and tagged as , , , , . Both comments and linkbacks are closed.

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  • http://mousepadmarauder.wordpress.com/ Santosh

    Woohoo!! Cyber cafe burning time! I’m excited. Brings some meaning to my otherwise mundane existence.

  • http://pikeyspeak.com Piker

    Let me bring forth my ‘footballing expertise’ here :)
    This news has also hit it big in the UK football blog circles (and mostly the Brits are smitten by Bips – as one would expect)
    In case you’re interested, here’s the video where they met on stage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4PfLjCWzjI
    This was a peck in the cheek although the actual ‘smooch’ happened much later in some club.

    Oh well, football blogging involves reading stuff like The Sun, The Daily Mail, NOTW etc etc. All these papers are what we can call “Last Bastions of Responsible Journalism” :)

    Speaking of which, the News of the World reported that Gemma Atkinson, the woman who is actually Cristiano Ronaldo’s current girlfriend, cheated on him with another footballer. (Do a google search for Gemma Atkinson, and you will wonder why would someone want to sleep with Bipasha) :)

    Anyway that’s a longish post from me. I don’t know why I wrote so long a post for this. Oh well…

  • http://www.ipatrix.com Patrix

    Santosh, don’t we love our cyber cafe burning excuses :)

    Piker, of course why wouldn’t you respond in a longish post…after all, this is where your ‘desiness’ meets your other passion, football. BTW you should have warned me that images searches for Gemma Atkinson are NSFW. The footballers literally have a free run regards women..the more they get, the more they want. No wonder they love playing with balls.

  • http://retributions.wordpress.com confused

    I think Mahesh Bhatt should make a movie on this one with a provocative title ”kiss tha ki nahi?”

    I think its hard to tell really, its nightclub and they might just be talking. Of course, the oral evidence (pun unintended) suggests otherwise.

  • http://pikeyspeak.com Piker

    Well, I didn’t expect you to Google Gemma Atkinson at work! :)

    Naughty boy!

  • http://blogita.blogspot.com sqrlta

    cheechee video store? interesting lingo I must say.. Did I ever blog about the time when two girls went into a video store in India and said ‘ English film kaunsa hai?’ and when the video waala said, ‘naya tom and jerry aaya hai’, they did have the guts to ask for more ‘adult’ fare. And they did not use the words cheechee..

  • http://www.ipatrix.com Patrix

    Confused, any scandal involving Bipasha will do. Who cares if its true or not, eh?

    Piker, next time insert a disclaimer :)

    Sqrl, nice!! Incidentally ‘naya Tom & Jerry’ was our code name too.

  • http://mousepadmarauder.wordpress.com/ Santosh

    For us, Tom and Jerry with two fingers was XX and Tom and Jerry with three fingers was XXX.

  • http://www.suyogdeshpande.net/blog Supremus

    Was she wearing a traditional Indian saree or salwar kameez when she was smooched? Err, no – so its not Un-Indian – no wonder, our morality groups didnt protest. See, there is a definite relation between the kind of dress a woman wears and gets smooched. Now, if Shilpa Shetty were in minis while being smooched by Gere, I think there wouldnt be any news…

    …I’m not making any sense hehehe, but nor does our morality police either :D

    S

  • http://www.ipatrix.com Patrix

    Santosh, I won’t even ask if the third finger meant anything more :)

    Suyog, ah-ha! so the age-old argument that the woman brings it upon her by the way she dresses. Unfortunately, if you observe, most rapes in India happen to women wearing ‘traditional’ attire. As you know, it is less about sex and more about power. I know you aren’t serious but someone reading this might think you so.


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