Nerve Endings Firing Away

When you think that racial profiling cannot get any more stupid, we come across yet another strategy by the United States counter-terrorism department that makes us think that everyone up there are morons.

Like Hansel and Gretel hoping to follow their bread crumbs out of the forest, the FBI sifted through customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006, hoping that sales records of Middle Eastern food would lead to Iranian terrorists. The idea was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area [source].

Ah-ha! In the racially and ethnically diverse urban regions of United States, these dumbos believe that falafels will only be consumed by Iranians. I just hope a similar operation wasn’t carried out at the Khau Galli in Atlanta downtown where I enjoyed many a falafel wrap. One quick question, wouldn’t that also put Bill O’Reilly on the watch list? Now we just hope that there aren’t any Chinese terrorists in the future otherwise you might have nearly 90% of the United States population on the terrorist watch list. But this strategy makes for much contemplation. I hope no sushi joints were staked out during the World War II. Oh wait! they had interned (not the Lewinsky kind) a huge proportion of the Japanese expat population. Bad example.

What if some desi terrorist group popped up in the near future? Would they follow the chicken tikka trail? Nah! They would be more successful tracking Subway sales; vegetarian only, of course. Thankfully, the FBI isn’t staffed with all morons.

The project was torpedoed by the head of the FBI’s criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason, who argued that putting somebody on a terrorist list for what they ate was ridiculous — and possibly illegal.

Imagine all those disappointed falafels.