Nerve Endings Firing Away

Last week we were pleasantly surprised with a spot of good news – Ash’s parents are moving to Houston. Her dad, a naval architect has been working in Bahrain for the past four years and his contract was expiring this August. He would have moved either to India or to other Asian countries like China, Sri Lanka, or South Korea. Through some fortuitous circumstances he was informed of an opening in his company’s Houston office and he promptly applied and was interviewed last week. Given his long service with the company and far-reaching experience, I was sure he would get it but those who are aware of intra-office politics and backoffice dealings know better. Finally last Friday, we got the good news that he had received the offer letter and would move down here in the next couple of months.

Obviously Ash was over the moon and this after she spent sleepless nights thinking and hoping that the job comes through. Being the conscientious planner that she is, it was extremely difficult for her not to think ahead and start planning for their move in fear of disappointment if the job doesn’t happen. But it did and as expected she has earnestly begun planning for her parents move to this side of the Atlantic complete with apartment hunting powered by Google Earth and online reviews.

But what does this move mean to us? Honestly, a lot. We have spent a long time in this country with almost no family close by. I have a few cousins scattered along the coast but I was never close to them back in India so I see no reason why I should feel any different now. If they were in the same city, maybe but definitely not worth flying across the country on a regular basis and I’m sure they feel the same. Considering that Mumbai has been our ‘native place’, all our relatives still live in the city and living in the United States means that the closest family is at least a 24-hour or more flight time away. My brother lived in the US for a while (2 years) but guess he missed the family (and his then-girlfriend) too much and beat a hasty retreat back to the desh. Honestly, I prefer living away from the family although I do love them a lot. I would have preferred if they were much closer and not continents apart.

Occasionally I do get jealous of my American colleagues who fly down to visit their parents either over Thanksgiving or during the summer but lack of that convenience is something we the nascent diaspora have come to live with. Those short and hectic trips back to India are fun but too short even if they last a month and somehow you never make a trip back unless you have an occasion. At times you feel that your parents ought to make a trip this way too and that way, I’ve been lucky to have both my parents visit twice and my mom braved the long flight last year. But somehow you just wish it were more frequent, easier, and convenient to travel. I know that the Internet provides much connectivity and you can talk and see your family almost every day using a variety of mediums at an inexpensive price.

But nothing beats lounging around watching TV while your mom is reading a newspaper nearby making occasional smalltalk. I had that pleasure last summer right here in College Station. As your parents get older, it is even hard to expect them to make the long flight to visit you even if they have the time to do so. You cannot get away every summer or Christmas either due to increasingly expensive flight prices or more importantly, you don’t have the time for a month-long vacation which invariably all India trips are. My dad has been ‘threatening’ to visit us for some time now but given his 24/7 work ethic, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

Now you might be wondering why am I getting so happy with my in-laws moving closer. Isn’t that the worst nightmare for any guy especially recently-married? Probably but I would like to think that Ash’s parents are different and I have been quite comfortable around them having visited them twice in Bahrain and perhaps this move closer will help us know each other better. And it isn’t exactly a Everybody-Loves-Raymond type situation; they aren’t moving across the street and Houston is still an hour and half drive away. But to me, that is the perfect distance. Heck, I would wish my parents were also that far away (and not too close).

So as you imagine, this summer is going to be quite exciting and busy. We will be playing the role of guiding the parents in setting up their home and taking care of small but important details like drivers license, shopping advice, and of course helping them acclimatize to a new country.

PS. One thing I’m glad about is that we don’t have to fly Gulf Air anymore when we visit India. Apparently, Gulf Air is the only airline you fly if you’ve to stopover in Bahrain.