Nerve Endings Firing Away

Do I already hear groans about another Olympics post but if you know me now, you will understand I am unlikely to relent until after the Olympics. If you have are in the habit of grabbing your meals or checking your email the instant a commercial break hits, you are unlikely to understand what I am writing about. Many advertisers are running Olympic-themed commercials during the Games, following a general trend in advertising that seeks to make commercials more relevant to the “hot” event. We saw a spate of similar commercials during the cricket World Cup, with products ranging from beauty creams to biscuits (Remember Brittannia Khao, World Cup Jao). It reminds me of a pervert parody twisted by a friend but I digress.

So this Olympics has been no different. NBC has already forked out much moolah for the telecast rights and at last count, has also signed up for the 2010 and 2012 Games for an astounding $2.1 billion. But luckily for them, viewership is on the rise and has already surpassed the Sydney Games ratings. Advertisers are going to make custom commercials if they are going to pay NBC big bucks for airing them. No one would like to see oft-repeated mundane commercials that we have seen umpteen times. NBC was guilty of setting the bar low by immediately offering Team USA’s apparel on its website and on air after the opening ceremony. The commercial was extremely tacky and bordered on pandering to cheap publicity.

However, the good ones were not far behind. Searly Mattress showed obsessed athletes doing the pommel horse routine on his bed post before falling asleep on his dismount on the bed. The better version was the synchronized sleepers or the dude who launches himself on a high jump on the top level of the bunk bed. They fall asleep the instant the hit the bed; it almost makes me go out and buy Searly for my insomniac soul. Visa impresses with its Phelps commercial swimming the Atlantic from Greece to New York and declaring that it is only his first lap as he turns back. An interesting tidbit, did you know that guy swam seven miles everyday to practice for the games. No wonder the line that VISA uses — the best way to get to the Olympics — practice, works well.

But the biggest splash was made by the Allstate commercials, asking you are you prepared for the Games. The best one in the series of hilarious commercials was the one with the weightlifter. This massive hulk lifts up an awesome amount of weights and bangs it down on the floor only to see it disappear in the floor; penetrating several floors to the parking deck onto the car of a poor unsuspecting soul. I think VISA also uses a similar tagline by showing unprepared athletes; track athlete without shoes, fencer without his saber, tennis player without his racket, relay runners without the baton, rowers without oars, and the clincher, a swimmer without his shorts. It certainly gives you plenty of room to think of more scenarios. The Bud Lite commercials will never be far behind in raising the laughs. Going for the exactly opposite, it celebrates the slob in us by showing 10ft marathons and 15ft relays.

The classy and emotional commercials by Nike and Home Depot also catch your attention. Maybe because they have been so many times but yet they do not irritate you. You’re Faster than You Think goads the hidden athlete in all of us. Don’t tell me, you wouldn’t break the track record a la Marion Jones, if you come to face with a hideous lady in a haunted mansion, much like the little girl in the Nike commercial. The Chinese pianist commercial appears more classy and seamless; maybe because of the stark contrast of grey shades and red. Home Depot is trying to proclaim its public service commitments by telling you that it is the employer for the most Olympic hopefuls. The moment you tell yourself you can do it, you can — however doesn’t really stick with what they are really trying to sell i.e. we encourage talent.

Of course, not everything is cheery. Apna Bush leads the way for worst commercials by trying to hog the political limelight in the simple joy of sports. He jumps on the B(ad)-wagon by showing random athletes while a voiceover proclaims that two new free nations (Iraq and Afghanistan) are a part of the Olympics and we should vote for Bush if we want to see more. Someone please ask him to wait for his turn to be in the limelight when the Republican Convention hits town. And, what is it with winter athletes taunting summer athletes in a Sprint commercial. It is not at all funny. Ronald McDonald literally tries to get into the Olympic spirit by taking some dives to sell burgers and fries; what an awful waste of ad money. Finally, why do cell phone companies make such awful commercials? The AT&T drafted in Phelps and made him into an ordinary salesman by making him hand his phone to a friend with a weak phone signal. “Hey, don’t hurt yourself; take mine”. Couldn’t they come up with something more interesting?

Whew! After the Olympics, I swear I am not looking at the TV for a month. Especially the commercials.