Nerve Endings Firing Away

I got a call from an old friend after ages. AG is married now and recently became a father to a wonderful baby girl. He is the typical non-internet kinda person so any contact was restricted to the phone only, which I am not too keen about anyways. My parents and friends already give me hell for not calling them enough but I have never been a phone person. But it felt great talking to AG especially since we were great friends when I was in India. I was there for him when he was almost ready to run away from his naval academy and he empathized with me when my personal life was in shambles. We trekked the upper reaches of the Himalayas together and often had a crush on the same girl in junior college. Now he is happily married to a common friend SG; incidentally their love life began at my home.

Thankfully I could attend their marriage the last time I was in India but still couldn’t picture them as a married couple. Maybe because they smiled through all my relentless teasing although at times, they wanted to strangle me. I simply cannot still see them as parents, busy in their settled life as a family with parents around.

He was proud to say that the day before was his first turn at the 2am feeding and the second kid was not even an idea now since SG has a one-point agenda — the kid — and won’t let him near. I was close to SG’s family too since she lived right next door and her dad tutored me, along with four other friends (AG & SG included) for the 12th boards. He had a patent dialogue which I could imitate perfectly behind his back and make others laugh. AG laughed the other day too when I reminded him (some jokes never go stale). SG’s dad almost expected me to come up with some smartass comment any time things were a bit dull.

Sometimes I wonder if leaving all those friends behind was a good idea. I do miss all the fun we had during our lame New Year parties, where we kept awake the whole night playing nonsensical games. The times we spent on the abandoned Panvel Port or the society playground, discussing variety of issues late into the night were one of the best times ever. But things change, as they always do. We are never aware that we are creating nostalgic memories when we actually are. Then, we are busy talking about memories in the past. It sometimes makes me wonder, whether most of our conversations revolve around our past. What if we did nothing in the past interesting enough to talk about later?

I left home for an uncertain future, in search for a more meaningful career rather than simply managing my dad’s architecture business. But that also means being away from your parents and childhood friends for long stretches of time. Things may not be at their rosy best right now but I know that a settled predictable life with a kid at 27, complete with family vacations and traditional obligations, isn’t my cup of tea. This might sound strange. After all why wouldn’t anyone want to be married to a person they love, be around their parents and friends, be parents before you hit the 30s, a suitable settled professional life; sounds like a perfect happy ending to a Bollywood movie. Somehow I find that clichéd and boring. Unpredictability has its charm. Couple of decades down your settled life, you would wonder, have you really lived? Out of school, right into a job or a family business, marriage followed soon after and kids weren’t far behind; you never had time to look for what you really wanted.

What makes you happy is often related to people around you. Is the sequential life cycle really for everyone? Does everything have to follow a typical path to define success or happiness? If things happen a little later or rather a little differently than usual, have you failed? After all, as they say, all’s well that ends well; so if it’s the ends what we really desire, let us choose the means.

AG sounds very happy in a life that he chose and I am happy for him. But would I choose the life that he lives, if I could? I am not sure.