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Obviously Ash was over the moon and this after she spent sleepless nights thinking and hoping that the job comes through. Being the conscientious planner that she is, it was extremely difficult for her not to think ahead and start planning for their move in fear of disappointment if the job doesn’t happen. But it did and as expected she has earnestly begun planning for her parents move to this side of the Atlantic complete with apartment hunting powered by Google Earth and online reviews.
But what does this move mean to us? Honestly, a lot. We have spent a long time in this country with almost no family close by. I have a few cousins scattered along the coast but I was never close to them back in India so I see no reason why I should feel any different now. If they were in the same city, maybe but definitely not worth flying across the country on a regular basis and I’m sure they feel the same. Considering that Mumbai has been our ‘native place’, all our relatives still live in the city and living in the United States means that the closest family is at least a 24-hour or more flight time away. My brother lived in the US for a while (2 years) but guess he missed the family (and his then-girlfriend) too much and beat a hasty retreat back to the desh. Honestly, I prefer living away from the family although I do love them a lot. I would have preferred if they were much closer and not continents apart.
Occasionally I do get jealous of my American colleagues who fly down to visit their parents either over Thanksgiving or during the summer but lack of that convenience is something we the nascent diaspora have come to live with. Those short and hectic trips back to India are fun but too short even if they last a month and somehow you never make a trip back unless you have an occasion. At times you feel that your parents ought to make a trip this way too and that way, I’ve been lucky to have both my parents visit twice and my mom braved the long flight last year. But somehow you just wish it were more frequent, easier, and convenient to travel. I know that the Internet provides much connectivity and you can talk and see your family almost every day using a variety of mediums at an inexpensive price.
But nothing beats lounging around watching TV while your mom is reading a newspaper nearby making occasional smalltalk. I had that pleasure last summer right here in College Station. As your parents get older, it is even hard to expect them to make the long flight to visit you even if they have the time to do so. You cannot get away every summer or Christmas either due to increasingly expensive flight prices or more importantly, you don’t have the time for a month-long vacation which invariably all India trips are. My dad has been ‘threatening’ to visit us for some time now but given his 24/7 work ethic, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.
Now you might be wondering why am I getting so happy with my in-laws moving closer. Isn’t that the worst nightmare for any guy especially recently-married? Probably but I would like to think that Ash’s parents are different and I have been quite comfortable around them having visited them twice in Bahrain and perhaps this move closer will help us know each other better. And it isn’t exactly a Everybody-Loves-Raymond type situation; they aren’t moving across the street and Houston is still an hour and half drive away. But to me, that is the perfect distance. Heck, I would wish my parents were also that far away (and not too close).
So as you imagine, this summer is going to be quite exciting and busy. We will be playing the role of guiding the parents in setting up their home and taking care of small but important details like drivers license, shopping advice, and of course helping them acclimatize to a new country.
PS. One thing I’m glad about is that we don’t have to fly Gulf Air anymore when we visit India. Apparently, Gulf Air is the only airline you fly if you’ve to stopover in Bahrain.
by Patrix | on Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm | 
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June 3rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm reply
You’re quite right, my friend. Unfortunately this is a true fact we all have to come to terms with. When they (parents) pass a certain age, health factors come into play. It is unreasonable to expect them to make the grueling 30 hour trip, year after year.
One tip though and I repeatedly stress this to my mother, when the parents travel make sure they reduce their luggage especially the carry-ons. My mom has the tendency to pack all things desi when she comes here and conversely all things Walmart when she goes back. I make the journey between India and US every year and found that traveling with her is physically more tiring because she packs so much.
Anyways, I’m envy Ash she will have her parents that close.
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm reply
Well for one thing, now you’ll have two places where you can gorge delicious home made food! I would vote for it ;)
June 4th, 2008 at 1:03 am reply
Nice. Meaning more delicious home cooked food. I envy you.
June 4th, 2008 at 1:25 am reply
Sasar-chi mandali jawaL yet aahet and you call it good news! Hen-pecked kahike!
:-)
June 4th, 2008 at 7:42 am reply
That is wonderful for Ash (and you, to an extent :) ). Having either set of parents that close..(ie, in the yellow zone..) i’m sure will make life a lot more fun.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:28 am reply
Santosh, it takes a few trip to understand that apart from the most important irreplaceable documents, you shouldn’t take much in your carry-on. It is quite a hassle carting it around and taking care while in transit.
Supremus, of course! that was my first reaction as well :)
Niket, kay karaycha bolayla laagta…sasar-chi mandali pan blog waachtat na :)
But as they say, ghar ke khane ke liye hum kuch bhi bol sakte hai.
Sqrl, definitely more fun…doesn’t happen to many of us. Usually it is the other way around i.e. us returning to India.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:28 am reply
This is a reall win-win situation for everybody. My in-laws are too old now to travel to visit us, and my parents are fast approaching that stage. With grown-up kids it’s practically impossible to corral everyone together to make a family visit. This is a problem that no amount of technology can solve. So enjoy their company!
June 5th, 2008 at 11:24 am reply
Unaccustomed Earth, truly :)
June 5th, 2008 at 1:22 pm reply
Kamini, true. I’m sure it will be fun.
Anil, I haven’t read it yet so am afraid, I didn’t get it.
June 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am reply
Indian know the importance of closer family.
June 6th, 2008 at 10:41 am reply
hope you get your parents close by too!
congrats to Ash :)
June 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm reply
Shankar, you may be surprised to know that non-Indians also know the importance of closer family.
Neel, nice to see you around.