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But football is something no one else plays although the Brits, Springboks, Kiwis, Aussies, and Rahul Bose play it without protective gear and call it rugby. You can easily call the Superbowl the World Championship although most of us watch it for the commercials and Janet Jackson’s saggy tit. Now you have this wonderfully aerodynamic ball that literally flies like the wind, but in rugby you cannot throw it forward. You merely cuddle…err…huddle and toss the ball, which if done in San Francisco would qualify as a gay orgy. Americans thought “hmmm…that seems like an interesting game and you even get to bash your opponent. But throwing the ball back is too Lucknowi, let us throw it forward”. Presto! American Football was born. But let us not bastardize the game too much, after the first guy (who is easily the most overrated and highly paid player on the team, not to say also the most defended player) throws it ahead, no one else can throw it ahead. Heck that would be just like handball with more skill. But we don’t want to be Scandinavian sissies. We need some reason to run into the other players with sheer bulk. Plus that makes the beer guzzling pot-bellied guys dream of being on the team. Wearing tights like Robin Hood’s merry men doesn’t change many minds though. I wonder if wearing the oversized shoulder pads compensate for those tights and make merely flabby men look more muscular.
But don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the game. I actually love it and have started enjoying it although everyday when I think of a way I could play the game better; there is a seven-page NFL regulation that doesn’t allow it or rather allows it in a much more complicated way. I have always loved games with more rules and complex strategies but have played simple games like putting a round ball between two poles. Nope, chess doesn’t count. You have to move more appendages than a few fingers to call a game a sport. But the strange fact about American Football is the presence of layers of coaching personnel at the sidelines and in the booth upstairs, complete with enough communication technology to put the Mars Pathfinder to shame. The game is like one well-orchestrated video game and half of your thinking power is spent on guessing your opponent moves. Coaches instruct and highly paid bozos comply.
But I must confess the game is addictive; you gradually learn to see beyond the prancing cheerleaders. Playing time of one hour is always extended beyond 3-4 hours, thanks to countless time-outs and stoppages after each play. If you are seeing the game for the first time, you will almost mistake it as some slugfest or streetside brawl, but there is a methodical madness amidst all that chaos. I understood the importance of 3rd down after the stadium at Georgia Tech erupted each time with chants of “Go Defense”. The closest analogy I can think of is the Roman Colleseum where it takes the talent of Maximus Aurelius Maximus Meridius to bring out the beauty in a bloody fight. Of course, bloody fights are entertaining to many otherwise you wouldn’t see a dumbfuck like Tyson rake in the millions.
But I am no football fan but mildly interested in the fortunes of the local teams. Atlanta Falcons are surprisingly winning for a change and college teams, Georgia and Georgia Tech are playing better. But I see myself been drawn to the game. Aw shucks! Am I American already?
by Patrix | on Tuesday, October 19th, 2004 at 11:05 pm | 
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October 20th, 2004 at 12:03 am reply
have never been able to figure the game out :(.. of course, seeing beyond the cheerleaders is not a need thats acutely felt..hehe
October 20th, 2004 at 12:08 am reply
Manuscrypts - It took me a while but watching the game on the field actually helped. College cheerleaders look kiddish and it is almost pedophilic to feel “that” way :) but NFL cheerleaders are something else.
October 20th, 2004 at 12:30 am reply
To use a typically Yankee term, Football (the Yankee version) is awesome! Of course I have mostly watched it only in the movies ;) like the Replacements and Jerry Maguire, so it does not qualify for the real thing.
And BTW you missed Ice Hockey!
October 20th, 2004 at 12:37 am reply
Kiran - Remember the Titans was the best football movie I saw. But living in India, which I presume you are, loving Yankee Football takes something :)
October 20th, 2004 at 2:51 am reply
more google search, esp coz little nephew plays it
October 20th, 2004 at 6:10 am reply
manuscrypts: Yeah…there is no point in looking beyond the cheerleaders. The game is like any other game. You have a ball and you have a goal. You take the ball to the goal. Hope you got the game now.
October 20th, 2004 at 10:05 am reply
heyy..thanks for dropping by :) livin in the land of the free I see?
October 20th, 2004 at 10:25 am reply
I didnt understand the game at all when I first came here and now I cant spend a sunday afternoon or a monday night without one… :)
Your team is actually doing really good.. They’re 5-1 I think.. Thats almost the best record in the league…
October 20th, 2004 at 10:52 am reply
Like many who first came here, I too was confounded by the Yankee love for the game. Two years of following football at PSU has now made me a rabid fan. Half of my saturdays, and a quarter of my Sundays are lost to the game. Not to mention “Are you Ready for some Football…” on Monday nights. I hate giving the Yanks any credit, but begrudingly, I must admit, this is one hell of a game! My fav football movie….”Any Given Sunday” by Oliver Stone. Go Nittany Lions! Go Colts!
October 20th, 2004 at 11:23 am reply
Smiley - Good! Now aren’t all games like that? :)
Rash - huh?
AJ - Nice to see you around.
Prashant - Going from having the worst defense and a horrid record to one of the best record in the league sure is bringing the fans back to the Falcons.
Bryan - I haven’t yet seen that one but have heard about it…BTW PSU stands for?
October 20th, 2004 at 11:39 am reply
no election posts………check out jibjab.com - our land for some inspiration……..
October 20th, 2004 at 11:49 am reply
Cuddle…men in tights ? Ahem, latent thoughts revealing themselves iP ? ;-)
College station will be thrilled ! lol
Oh wait, just read about the prancing cheerleaders…chal maaf !
I think being a woman automatically puts me off these testosterone-driven brawny sports…but its also more a question of interest. I never followed the ‘other’ football either, but I was drawn into the world cup craze of 2002 and went hoarse cheering for Germany and Turkey.
October 20th, 2004 at 11:50 am reply
M - A bit of relief before jumping right back into election stuff…I thought you hated elections posts :) JibJab’s Our Land is passe…Check out Badmash’s Dhishoom.
October 20th, 2004 at 11:51 am reply
Btw, I like the new photo. Reminds me of Matheran treks on rainy days.
October 20th, 2004 at 11:55 am reply
Ash - awww..not the gay label again! Maaf kiya? whew! thank heavens otherwise you would be mentioning my name in the next debate.
Interestingly all the “testosterone-driven brawny sports” are mostly won in the mind. But you don’t follow the “other football”?…blasphemy! but seems you are coming around…chal maaf! May the football gods forgive your soul.
The new photo was taken in Pennsylvania while driving up to FLW’s Fallingwater.
October 20th, 2004 at 2:50 pm reply
Patrix…PSU=Penn State University…Home of the Nittany Lions(they are down, but not out!!)…not to mention, Joe Pa! I’m waiting to watch “Friday Night Lights”…the new Billy Bob Thornton feature…has gotten good reviews on IMDB.
October 20th, 2004 at 3:59 pm reply
Bryan - Cool! Should have guessed but blame on your the underperforming Nittany Lions :)
October 21st, 2004 at 12:31 pm reply
You know, Bryan, when the book “Friday Night Lights” was published, it quickly made my high school’s recommended reading list. I guess that’s what I get for growing up in Texas….
October 21st, 2004 at 12:40 pm reply
Sabra - Tsk Tsk…my sympathies with you. I can watch a football movie but can’t last through a book that talks about football.
October 24th, 2004 at 11:11 pm reply
It’s Maximus Decimus Meridius, in case you were referring to the hero of ‘Gladiator’. Marcus Aurelius was the Roman emperor and boss :)
October 25th, 2004 at 11:47 am reply
Passerby - Uimma! mistake rectified…somehow I get the impression that you don’t simply pass by :)
October 25th, 2004 at 4:07 pm reply
I am glad that you are getting hooked to Football. Unless there is a good team to cheer for you don’t get sucked into it. Georgia is doing extremely well this year, I am sure that buzz worked for you to convert to the dark side. I’ll give you a few years before you join me in planning a pilgrimage to watch a home game at Green Bay in subzero(F) temperatures. :)
October 25th, 2004 at 8:01 pm reply
Parag - It sure did…until they lost to TN at home…damn! I’ll definitely take up your offer :)
October 26th, 2004 at 12:37 am reply
You mean i visit your blog with a mission to point out mistakes? :)
Well, don’t gimme a chance then.