February 12th, 2004

Jeeye To Jeeye Kaise

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Care to see death in the glass eye of a hideous old woman almost witch-like or would you like to keep it in suspense and wait for the grand finale? In midst of seeing this amazing movie “Big Fish”, I doubted my strong belief in ignorance of the time and nature of my death. Although the movie raises many other interesting points, I felt closest to the one relating to death wherein the protagonist – an aging father who loves to exaggerate tales of his life, confidently states that this isn’t the way he would go so he need not worry.

Does knowledge of your death give you that extra confidence or merely makes you disrespect life? Until recently, I would have definitely chosen not knowing either the cause or nature of my death but would knowledge of my death supposedly in distant future add a spring to my step? As they say, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. It could very well be the last day too and you would have to be constantly on your guard.

Few years ago, I was forewarned by my mother that there was a high possibility of an accident next week for me, supposedly the handiwork of a corrupt astrologer. I usually rubbish such morbid predictions but it does sow a teeny-weeny bit of doubt in your sub-conscious and I spent the major part of the week looking over my shoulder, trying to spy an ever ready Yama with his buffalo. But let’s put it this way, if I knew I would be “tapkofied” at the age of 62 due to a massive cardiac arrest, I would be less apprehensive about the whole death thing. I am not usually paranoid nor do I care if death is waiting for me at the next corner but I would easily take a daredevil stunt confidently. Of course, I wouldn’t go around stepping in front of the Mumbai local or jumping off the Golden Gate but at least would rid my mind of the specter of death.

Now, on the other side, if I didn’t know the time and place of my death, would it really hover over my head like the Damocles’ sword? I could choose and ignore the possibility and live my life to the fullest but frankly who does that? Ever try bungee-jumping or sky-diving? The first question you would ask yourself is: would that damn cord break and plunge you to your death? You can chicken out or just challenge yourself and live on the edge. I guess it is definitely more fun that way rather than be aware of your end. The adrenaline rush that you get after a successful bungee jump is primarily due to the fact that you have just cheated death.

So how would you like it to be? Wanna know your doomsday or not?

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