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Few years ago, few of my friends got married. Now they have kids. Also, I was friends with all of them individually before they got married to each other. Well, I was actually ‘more friends’ with the guys than the girls but then one of them was my roommate and the other a best friend back in India.
I’m often introduced to their kids (via phone) as P Mama. I wonder why am I not introduced as P Kaka. Indian languages differentiate between types of uncles so Mama is mom’s brother and Kaka is dad’s brother although the English language makes no such differentiation and we all are uncles.
Although my sample size is just three couples, kids of all three know me as Mama. Anyone have a clue why? I must add, I wasn’t romantically inclined or linked to any of the girls although one of them had confessed to having a crush on me back in college but am sure she is past that. No such issue with the other two; not even remotely. So why?
by Patrix | on Tuesday, November 20th, 2007 at 12:00 pm | 
Observations, Personal . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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November 20th, 2007 at 1:38 pm reply
Patrix,
Sorry, this comment is not related to the post but I noticed this change that you made to the star rating system on the “Movies I’ve watched” section on the site. Any particular reason you had to make that change? because I kind of liked the rating out of 10. And believe me or not, I come to the site once in a while from my feed reader just to check on your ratings on movies. (my analyses of the movies match yours’). Try to revert back if possible. :)
November 20th, 2007 at 2:16 pm reply
Arvind, no biggie. Changed it to a ten-star rating now. I had simply changed it to a 5-star rating system which just had fewer stars but similar rating.
Anyway, I’m glad someone is paying attention to those movies. Click on the ‘movie ratings archives’ link at the bottom of the list and you’ll like the layout and options.
November 20th, 2007 at 4:18 pm reply
I dunno about other places, but among Bongs, the Mama is considered in general as a much more affectionate person. This harks back to the time when kids could visit the Mama’s place mostly only occasionally and were expected to be spoilt rotten when out there.
OTOH, we also refer to the police as Mama - so go figure :)
November 20th, 2007 at 5:01 pm reply
I think there is no doubt there dude… The guys are marking their territory… Also made me notice that the husband’s best friend gets rakhi tied on most occasions.. Remember Mein, Meri Patni, Aur Woh??…
November 20th, 2007 at 6:31 pm reply
In my personal opinion it is one of those things. Kids do not understand friend’s and close friends and acquaintances. Easiest way out, make them a relative.
Thankfully, for me, none of my close friends have had kids yet. When that happens, the pressure from my folks will hit stratospheric heights.
November 20th, 2007 at 6:57 pm reply
Can’t help but say : Tujha mama banavla tyanni!
But on a serious note, I agree with bongopondit. Mamas are generally considered more loving. Besides, adding Kaka to one’s name seems so much more harsher.
For girls too, maushi is added rather than kaki/kaku. It just seems softer and nicer, I guess.
November 20th, 2007 at 6:59 pm reply
“so much
moreharsher”Damn, you can’t delete here once you’ve clicked on Submit.
November 20th, 2007 at 7:08 pm reply
Pat,
I have a feeling Ash approves of the P mama thing… :D
November 20th, 2007 at 8:27 pm reply
hmm..I guess, they play safe!! :-)
November 20th, 2007 at 10:51 pm reply
Bongo, coincidentally we (as in Bombayites) also call the cops Mama and yup, I agree that it might be a more affectionate association.
BaL, Actually it isn’t as much about the guys as it is about the girls. It is the girls who rush to refer you as their kid’s Mama. Insecurity or overcompensating to assure their partners even though their partners could care less.
Karthik, yup! Got the making a relative rather than some obscure friend bit but why Mama and not Kaka.
Sampada, Heh. I had actually expected that comment but then as I mentioned there was nothing there required them to Mama-ofy me. Perhaps they want to claim me as from ‘her side’ of the family. am not that sure about the harshness or softness of names. What difference does it make to a kid?
Stone, if you ask the girls, I’m the last person they would want to ‘play safe’ around.
Confused, obviously she has no such complaints whereas as Sampada mentioned she is also claimed as a Maushi i.e. Mom’s sister so logically that puts us in a weird bind and must be driving the kid nuts.
November 21st, 2007 at 8:21 am reply
must be a throwback to the whole Tallu Maama thing …. :P just kidding :D
but yes, among Bongs i dont recall having (m)any Kaku’s (which is = to Kaka not the Marathi word) but i think about a gazillion Mamas ….
cheerio!
November 21st, 2007 at 10:13 am reply
Us Tamil people refer to most older men as Mama unless of course that older person is a relative in which case we use the particular name, for instance, Chitappa for Kaka.
I’m guessing following a similar nomenclature, you are Mama because you’re not a blood relative to the kid. Maybe it stems from our insecurities, thereby wanting to make all males our wives’ brothers.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:47 am reply
well.. that’s so that later you dont end up doing any misdeeds :P :)
subah ho gayee mamu!
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:28 am reply
My comment is not strictly related to your Post as well but I find your Blog very stimulating. W. Heisenberg said that the most fruitful ideas are born at different styles of thought. I think this is also valid for cultures and peoples. All these thematics are present in my Blog that is concerned with listening, watching and walking in silence.
ciao Andrea, In Silence Traveling
November 23rd, 2007 at 6:31 am reply
..we’ll thank your stars its not ‘mamu’! that sounds even more like a good old.. ahem ..pandu in bambaya.
November 24th, 2007 at 9:23 am reply
For me - at least, for most Tamizh people - it’s mostly about respect. Every auntie and uncle must be referred mami and mama, and one may adjoin the first name of the person in order to differentiate (Jaya Mami, for example). It’s more personal then calling someone Mr. or Mrs ____, and more respectful than calling someone (especially older) just by the first name.
November 26th, 2007 at 12:02 pm reply
Neel, poor Kakas…I see that the Mamas are loved everywhere.
Santosh, that insecurities bit might be closer to the truth although I think it is more from the perspective of the mom than the dad.
Twilight, hehe…if I was gonna do any misdeeds, do you think a simple nomenclature was going to stop me?
Cynic, I have been called worse so..
Vi, admitted it makes things a lil’ less formal but among Maharashtrians, the women-friends aren’t called Mamis but Maushis i.e. mom’s sister. The poor kid must wonder that dad doesn’t seem to have any relatives.