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It is the ever-persistent dilemma. Should you take the safe road and lead a life of relative comfort, or follow your heart and do something you really love doing?
There are umpteen examples of failed lives following either path but successful examples on either path also make choice equally difficult. You attend school and then go on to college unless your family requires your immediate presence in a nepotism-ridden enterprise. In college, you watch your peers make choices, not by what they love doing but rather on how their choices might affect future earnings. Ever see people lie through their clichéd explanations of, for e.g. human empathy and self-realization to serve the afflicted as reasons to be in the medical profession? We see them everywhere.
Heck, we shame Ms. Universes around the world by keeping a straight face whilst we explain our career choice; something that we do for one-third of our life (beauty queens do it only for a year until they perform item numbers in garish Bollywood flicks, but that is a different rant for different day). Earning potential and subsequent financial stability that buys the varied comforts of life is the single most important criteria for making a career choice. “I love spending glorious sunny days in a fluorescently lit cubicle coding myself to death so that I can sleep off my weekends instead of driving my swank sports car” seems to be the popular mantra these days. Well, not exactly; I tweaked it a little. You, however, can find an iota of truth somewhere within.
Youth Curry talks about a brave young man who opted out of the March Madness at the IIMs, (popularly called as Placement Day) to start off his own thing; not in IT, business consulting, CAT tutorials or some money-spinning venture but teaching school kids what they don’t learn in schools (wonderful concept, I must say). But did he have meddling parents who blasted his career choice in spite of his bountiful options or hopeful future in-laws who had expected a life of luxury for their darling daughter? Instead he ditched all that and jumped into an uncertain morass of his dreams. He may or may not earn money to sustain a comfortable life style in India but he made a choice; I just hope for following-your-dreams sake, he doesn’t regret it ever.
Just the other day while conversing with some friends on the topic of choosing to live in India or America, a girl casually remarked that if we earn Rs.12,00,000 annually in India, it is enough to lead a comfortable life; almost comparable to American standard of life, with the city you live in held constant. Of course, Rs.100,000 per month is a lot of money anywhere in India and should buy you all comforts of life while saving enough for your kids’ education and inheritance fund; nothing surprising there. But come on, Rs.100,000 per month is a shit load of money to expect in India. To obtain a conservative estimate, the IIM-A placements threw up an average salary of Rs.7,00,000 per annum. If you earn below that level, you aren’t considered a significantly upper-middle income person; something that each one of us secretly (and realistically) aspires to be. Your parents are going to be disappointed if you do not come close to making that, no matter what you are doing. It doesn’t matter if you are finding inner peace or job satisfaction at what you do; if you are not making enough, you aren’t successful. “Son, Rs.XXXX is not enough (in India) these days; with your qualifications and intellect, you should be getting much more.” If one set of parents wasn’t enough, nature and government indulges your “expectations-stress” by handing you one more set of parents with an in-law suffix. They “wish well” for their daughter and would “prefer” to see their daughter settled comfortably with a person having a secure financial future. But who would blame them, they wish well for their daughter.
The question then arises, should you put your “dream ambition” on hold or worse, abandon it for a safer route? Of course not! The idealist in all of us exhorts us to venture into the unknown and take the big leap. But ever wonder how easy it is to dole out advice instead of acting upon it? Or is it a much larger issue at play here; are we Indians less likely to take risks? Are we slaves to the society’s perception of our true worth? Although highly unscientific, I raise this national/regional aspect because I have seen it happen more often.
All said and done, no matter what path you take, you are never happy with what you get ultimately. If you have tons of money, you cringe in memory of the forsaken dream or if you are living the dream job, you look at the material-centric life of your peers and wish for those comforts for your loved ones, if not for yourself. It is a vicious circle. But then again, as someone mentioned to me, what if it doesn’t matter to your loved ones? They may simply be content living in your dream and making it their own, or better still complementing it many times over. It is all a matter of perspective and self-realization. Overcoming your ego and setting yourself a realistic goal but not before introspecting into what you really want. Finding the person that thinks on the same lines follows soon after, if it has to. Then I doubt life will be much of hassle. Things, however change at every point in life.
You might also want to read “Why our education system needs a fix!”. It goes beyond the clichéd finger-pointing of similar articles berating the Indian system and instead places the onus back on the individual; an excellent read. Attempt to be Hip is also passing through a similar phase while trying to find a passion for life.
by Patrix | on Saturday, April 16th, 2005 at 1:11 am | 
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April 16th, 2005 at 5:52 am reply
Thats true … how virtually our whole lives are designed around the ‘expectations’ curve … its cruel sometimes … but then again … not many people and or institutions support an ‘out of the box’ approach … i mean …. how many schools/ colleges (i can only speak for india) can boast of a practical, hands-on approach … our exams r still a memory-based nightmare … how do u expect a student to develop that attitude ( break free, tread new ground) in such a scenario ??
April 16th, 2005 at 9:03 am reply
I think the most important thing is to come to terms with the consequences of our actions; and especially the consequences that we would face if the actions were to fail. When we take a decision in life, the problem is that we frequently fail to account for the consequences of the possibility of the failed decision. So if someone plans for ‘the safe life’, he has not simultaneously planned for the fact that his plan could just fail, and it’s subsequent consequences.
The point is that whenever we take any decision in life, we always miss out on something else which could have been equally exciting, perhaps more. But we don’t see it that way. We simply think we have made the best possible decision for our life.
I believe that if we appreciate the fact that we always miss out on some aspects of our life, we would become much more sober and mature and take our successes as well as failures in the same spirit. We would be more peaceful. Happier too? Perhaps…
I think Robert Oppenheimer said it very well (which I think it worth quoting in its entirety):
“In every investigation, in every extension of knowledge, we’re involved in action. And in every action we’re involved in choice. And in every choice we’re involved in a kind of loss, the loss of what we didn’t do. We find this in the simplest situations…Meaning is always obtained at the cost of leaving things out. . . . In practical terms this means, of course, that our knowledge is always finite and never all encompassing. . . . This makes the world of ours an open world, a world without end. ”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
April 16th, 2005 at 10:53 am reply
Crab - What we fail to teach in our society and schools is the ability to think as you say, “out of the box” and take risks. The crab mentality (not related to you :))is all prevalent in India; but of course, the change lies within us.
Ashutosh - That was a wonderful quote. Thanks for taking the time to pen down your thoughts. Inner happiness is often underrated in lieu of material comforts but I think it is because of social conditioning. As Nike says it best, just do it :)
April 16th, 2005 at 11:27 am reply
“Finding the person that thinks on the same lines follows soon after, if it has to.”
Very true. Perspectives very often change though and mingled in the joy of finding someone who thinks like you do is always the hope that you will be able to “grow together”. As you grow older and responsibilities and needs multiply, living a spouse’s dream might not attractive any more.
And lucky is the person who’s sole dream is to just make money (I have met the kind. They have no regrets or second thoughts..and everyone seems happy). Shallow but lucky!
Good piece Patrix.
April 16th, 2005 at 11:32 am reply
A very nice article.. touched a sore point home..
Because u see I have just become that - spending time in front a laptop for a career which I chose because at that time it seemed cool.
Fortunately, I do like what I do - I am not sure I enjoy it!
I did make a choice to move from US to India - what I save in 2 years now I could have made in 2 months in the US! But its not all that bad - the market is paying better and good things in India are getting competively cheaper.
Most people around me think of trading companies for higher pay packet. At some point I have realised for me its not necessarily the a big bank account, but having a satisfied feeling when I sleep at night. Even if I am not upper middle class - my happiness is above everything else…
Patrix- Thank you very much. Thank you.
April 16th, 2005 at 2:54 pm reply
Bloggers of Indian Origin
A couple of months ago, I promised myself to dig through the blogs whose writers share Indian origin. Here is an update on that effort: Blogs that I enjoy: Rashmi Bansal of JAM magazine writes about the Youth in India
April 17th, 2005 at 6:02 pm reply
Gabby - I added that bit about finding your other half and still pursing your dream becoz I have often come across people who have had crappy personal lives but have achieved greatness. It shouldn’t be a tradeoff, should it?
Aurora - Well, only you can end up making you feel better or worse. It seems you have realized what you desire; many of us yet have a long way to go. Good luck to you.
April 18th, 2005 at 2:03 am reply
I agree completely. Makes me wonder whether life is nothing but a constant struggle for temporary happiness.
April 22nd, 2005 at 3:22 am reply
Bharteeya Blog Mela - 21 April
Greetings, amigos Please set some time aside for an eclectic selection of posts from the Indian blogosphere. This week we have 22 posts for you to sample, and as usual, I’ve taken some time to go beyond the nominated posts and find other noteworthy pie…