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Few years back, when my dad was in a doling-out advice mood, which almost is all the time, he told us rather cynically that he did not intend to let my brother and I live under the same roof. Not that I was harboring any intentions of doing so but this was certainly a break from the grand tradition of the Hindu Joint Family. Or maybe his personal experiences with his brother had left him embittered. The hurt that your siblings can inflict on you is far greater than any wrongful word uttered by a friend. But somehow you can never throw out a sibling from your life. My father did so, and I think he had a pretty good reason to do so. I personally experienced the whole series of ugly incidents that led to the drastic step. Now of course, it couldn’t have been a personal incident and the only thing that can estrange two brothers is doing business together; apart from feuding wives, of course or a game of dice taken too seriously, as the Pandavas found out too late. The not-staying-together advice, I think alluded to the feuding wives fears. But I know for sure that he is also afraid of us brothers working together simply because we do not have the same working styles or business principles.
Lately we have been discussing on doing something together in the future but right now, my dad is oblivious of our conversation and I am not sure how he will take to the news. A certain Mr. Ambani wasn’t around to see that happening between his sons and ultimately their mother had to slap them back into shape and make them agree to reconcile, much to the relief of several thousand shareholders and the fickle Indian economy. The Reliance Empire got split up into two equally large parts and the flamboyant younger dude already has grand plans for his share. I guess, every family goes through the upheaval of business uncertainties and personal squabbles at home spill over on to their business interests, much to the entertainment of their detractors. I think that the days of grand joint family businesses are over and are slowly replaced by objective professionals who are well suited to the bottom line of business. Of course, family-oriented businesses do equally well; for e.g. Jains in the diamond business.
Rashmi too has fears of siblings not getting along. She is right when she says that it all boils down to a) Zaroorat (need) and, b) Farz (duty). The farz part often disappears after the patriach is no more and the zaroorat part lingers as long as each one has something to offer. Siblings grow up, the innocence wanes off, and each one forms new memories, friends, values as they go along their individual paths. Can they stay together or better still, work together? If they can, love, like Rashmi puts it can be an ideal antidote. But in the “maximizing shareholder value” world of corporate business, personal emotions have little value and of course, it boils down to why you choose to work in a particular field. If interests don’t match, the partnership won’t last either. Like my dad says, its always better to see each other on Diwali, Holi, or other festivals and remember old times rather than be at each other’s throat everyday. I agree, sometimes he can be quite cynical. But then he speaks from experience.
by Patrix | on Monday, June 20th, 2005 at 6:00 pm | 
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